There once was a girl named Katie
Who looked like she was from Haiti
She looked very foreign
Now this limerick’s borin
Now hoist up the sails, matie.
There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks
but he gave up the sport
cause he wrote em too short
A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
The good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical
This limerick is nice
I hope its not annoying like mice
Its not too polite
Or very right
But maybe it’ll give you luck with dice
There once was a girl from the sticks
Who liked to write limericks.
But she failed at the sport,
‘Cause she wrote them too short.
I think the limericks are fun
and when I have read the last one
I’ll wipe away tears
from my eyes and my beard
and go back to where I’d begun.
A limerick by Matilda is neater
since she reponds by commutative meter;
she ducks into the fray
in an associative way
until someone finds out how to delete her.
There once was a boy named Eric,
Who once had a friend named Derik,
He was all so crazy,
Who felt kinda lazy,
Because he had to write a limerick.
There was a seedy old poet named Dick
Who tried to write a good limerick
His effors energetic
Gave results so pathetic
That hearing made his cohorts quite sick!
A Limerick’s easy to write
Five lines with a humorous bite
And the first one must rhyme
with the last two each time
While the middle two paired make it right.
In order to write a good limerick
You must first come up with a gimerick
then write it down fast
’cause the thought seldom lasts
and repeat it 10 times with a grinerick
The limerick is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
Today I am being audacious
By omitting all matter salacious
From this limerick I write.
If I’m lucky, I might
Avoid being call “puritanacious.”
Lordy, Please Don’t Ye Smite ‘em
‘Cause I Smiles When I Sight ‘em
I Laugh At The Gimerick
When I Reads A Limerick
I Only Cuss Because I Knows I Cain’t Write ‘em
I read some limericks at a website
they were humorous, nasty and some trite
I laughed quite a bit
the page was a hit
I bookmarked it for a future night
I once had a teacher so cruel
she insisted we all stay in school
Till death do we part
and learn limericks by heart
then our brains were all turned into gruel
A limerick fan from Australia
regarded his work as a failure:
his verses were fine
until the fourth line