04 March 2011 ~ 0 Comments

Limericks about Limericks

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There once was a girl named Katie

Who looked like she was from Haiti

She looked very foreign

Now this limerick’s borin

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Now hoist up the sails, matie.


There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

but he gave up the sport

cause he wrote em too short


A limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical

The good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical


This limerick is nice

I hope its not annoying like mice

Its not too polite

Or very right

But maybe it’ll give you luck with dice


There once was a girl from the sticks

Who liked to write limericks.

But she failed at the sport,

‘Cause she wrote them too short.


I think the limericks are fun

and when I have read the last one

I’ll wipe away tears

from my eyes and my beard

and go back to where I’d begun.


A limerick by Matilda is neater

since she reponds by commutative meter;

she ducks into the fray

in an associative way

until someone finds out how to delete her.


There once was a boy named Eric,

Who once had a friend named Derik,

He was all so crazy,

Who felt kinda lazy,

Because he had to write a limerick.


There was a seedy old poet named Dick

Who tried to write a good limerick

His effors energetic

Gave results so pathetic

That hearing made his cohorts quite sick!


A Limerick’s easy to write

Five lines with a humorous bite

And the first one must rhyme

with the last two each time

While the middle two paired make it right.


In order to write a good limerick

You must first come up with a gimerick

then write it down fast

’cause the thought seldom lasts

and repeat it 10 times with a grinerick


The limerick is furtive and mean

You must keep her in close quarantine

Or she sneaks to the slums

And promptly becomes

Disorderly, drunk and obscene.


Today I am being audacious

By omitting all matter salacious

From this limerick I write.

If I’m lucky, I might

Avoid being call “puritanacious.”


Lordy, Please Don’t Ye Smite ’em

‘Cause I Smiles When I Sight ’em

I Laugh At The Gimerick

When I Reads A Limerick

I Only Cuss Because I Knows I Cain’t Write ’em


I read some limericks at a website

they were humorous, nasty and some trite

I laughed quite a bit

the page was a hit

I bookmarked it for a future night


I once had a teacher so cruel

she insisted we all stay in school

Till death do we part

and learn limericks by heart

then our brains were all turned into gruel


A limerick fan from Australia

regarded his work as a failure:

his verses were fine

until the fourth line

?


 

 

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