Mommy, Mommy! But I don’t want to run around in circles?

Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all of Fido’s dog food?

Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

 

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?

Shut up or I’ll chop off the other leg!

 

Mommy, Mommy! But I don’t want to play outdoors!

Shut up and do as I say and maybe we’ll talk about it further when we land in Miami.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What’s in those CARE packages they send to Africa?

Shut up, stop squirming, and get back in the box!

 

Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!

Shut up and comb your face!

 

Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to Australia.

Shut up son and keep swimming.

 

Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?

Shut up and get back in the sack!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Why do they call me spastic at school?

Shut up and take your legs out your pockets.

 

Mommy, Mommy! But I don’t want to learn how to swim!

Shut up or I’ll flush it again!

 

Mommy mommy ! When is the pool going to be ready ?

Shut up and keep spitting

 

Mommy, Mommy! The milk man’s here; Have you got the money or should I go outside and play?

 

Mommy, Mommy!  Can I have a cookie?

Yes dear, just get one out of the jar on the counter.

But mommy, I haven’t got any arms!

No arms, no cookie…

 

Mommy, Mommy! Billy won’t let go of my ear.

Billy, let go of Susie’s ear.

Billy! I said let go of her ear!

All right Billy, give me the ear.

 

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get back in front of the dart board!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a big head?

Shut up, take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes from the store.

 

Mommy, Mommy! Can I buy a new dress?

You know it won’t fit over your iron lung.

 

Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to see Niagara falls!

Shut up and get back in the barrel!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

Shut up and flush.

 

Mommy, Mommy! But I don’t like fishing.

Shut up and stop squirming.

 

Mommy, Mommy I don’t want my hair braided.

Shut up and lift the other arm.

 

Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I don’t?

Shut up or I’ll cut your ears off, too!

 

Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?

Shut up. You already have your wheelchair.

 

Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?

Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs!

Yeah, we know but we want to use him for second base.

 

Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimy?

Shut up, you little snot.

 

Mommy, Mommy!  What’s an Oedipus complex?

Shut up and kiss me!

 

Mommy, Mommy!  My teacher says my head is too big.

Shut up and get your hat from the garage so your father can pull the car in!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Don’t push me towards the elevator shAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?

Yes Johnny I’ll take you in a minute.

Can Granny take me?

Why?

Her hand shakes.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What is a delinquent child?

Shut up, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What is a delinquent child?

Shut up and pass me the crowbar.

 

Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like an Ass!

Shut up and sit back down on your face.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What’s a nymphomaniac?

Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Why don’t I have a big thing like Daddy’s between my legs?

You will when you’re older, Lucy!

 

Mommy, Mommy! Sally won’t come skipping with me.

Don’t be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

 

Mommy, Mommy! What’s an orgasm?

I don’t know dear, ask your father.

 

Mommy, Mommy!! What’s a lesbian?

Go ask your father, she’ll know.

 

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I’m 16..

Shut up, Albert….

 

Daddy, Daddy! What is queer?

Shut up and unhook my bra.