Archive | Funny Stuff

12 April 2017 ~ 0 Comments

Funny United Airlines slogans – UA mottos get brutal

Funny United Airlines slogans - UA mottos get brutal

After the 4/10/2017 video footage of a passenger being roughed up after refusing to give up his seat to airline employees, United Airlines is suffering a brutal takedown of its own.  Their motto, “Fly the Friendly Skies” seems to have lost its meaning.  Instead, here are some funny new mottos we believe the beleaguered airline should now consider.

  • Not enough seating? Prepare for a beating!
  • United Airlines: Now serving Punch!
  • Just imagine how we treat your luggage.
  • Hey, we said the “skies” were friendly…
  • Early boarding, late boarding, water boarding – all the same to us.
  • Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.
  • Please keep feet out of the aisle – we need dragging room.
  • You carry on, we carry off.
  • We can re-accommodate you the easy way… or the hard way.
  • United Airlines: Now offering the Mike Tyson experience.
  • She’s got a ticket to ride – and we don’t care.
  • New boarding policy: “Eeny, meeny, miney, mo…”
  • Would you like a window seat… or a concussion?
  • No only can our United family not wear leggings, but tickets must be paid for with the blood of an innocent.
  • If you weren’t afraid of flying before, you will be now!
  • We put the hospital in hospitality.
  • We treat you like we treat your luggage.
  • We’ll beat any price – and any customer.
  • If we overbook, you’ll catch a right hook.

And for the competing airlines…

  • Southwest – we beat the competition, not you.
  • We’re here to keep you safe.  Dragging is strictly prohibited.

United Airlines introduces new cabin class

Continue Reading

23 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Biden: OK, so here’s the plan…

Biden holding President Obama

Biden: Ok here’s the plan: have you seen Home Alone?

Obama: Joe, no.

Biden: Just one booby trap.

Obama: Joe.

Continue Reading

22 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Biden: What if I played it from my phone real quick

Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton

Biden: What if I just played it from my phone real quick?

Hillary: We’re not playing The Imperial March when he gets here, Joe…

Continue Reading

21 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Biden: Maybe we make our own country and he won’t be invited

Biden: Maybe we make our own country and he won't be invited

Biden: Maybe we make our own country and he won’t be invited.

Obama: Joe.

Biden: And maybe this time we call it the Black House, right Barack…

Continue Reading

20 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Biden: I’m going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat

Joe Biden doubling up his fists

Joe: I’m going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat.

Barack: That’s nice, Joe.

Joe: And then I’m going to offer him knuckle sandwiches.

Continue Reading

19 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Trump: Can I come in?

Trump: Can I come in?

Trump: Can I come in?

Biden: What’s the password?

Trump: I don’t know.

Biden: Losers says what?

Trump: What.

Obama: JOE!

Continue Reading

18 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Biden: What if we take the batteries out of all the remotes before we leave?

Biden: What if we take the batteries out of all the remotes before we leave?

Joe: “What if we take batteries out of all of the remotes before we leave?”

Barack:” Joe we can’t – ”

Joe: “Or we could cut all the cords!”

Continue Reading

17 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Obama: Joe, why are you holding my hand?

Obama: Joe, why are you holding my hand?

Obama: “Joe, why are you still holding my hand?”

Biden: “I wanna freak Mike Pence out”

Obama: “But why?”

Biden: “Just roll with it”

Continue Reading

14 November 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Obama: I never thought he’d be late…

Obama: I never thought he'd be late…

Obama: I never thought he’d be late…

Biden: I gave him the wrong address.

Obama: Joe he’s the president-elect!

Biden: I don’t give a crap what they call him.

Continue Reading

05 February 2016 ~ 0 Comments

Mom, please, you’re embarrassing me

Woman holding balloons in an awkward position

Continue Reading

Tags: ,