Jokes in the ‘Animals and Wildlife’ Category

Funny bird one-liner jokes

Funny bird one-liners such as: What do you call a minor bird accident? A feather bender.

Old with the old rooster and in with the new

A farmer goes to the stock show to buy a brand new rooster to “seed” his chickens. He brings the rooster home and throws him into the chicken pen so he can get down to business. The brand new rooster walks over to the old rooster ans days, “OK buddy, step aside so I can do my business.”

Stomp that lump out of the carpet

A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do in a newly remodeled home. He checks his pockets and to his dismay, finds that his cigarettes are missing. He glanced down and notices a small lump in the recently completed carpet installation.

I believe my puppy killed your doberman

A nervous little man, wandered into a tough biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”

My dog is smarter than your dog

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which one had the smartest dog. First Woman : “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.

It you tied it around his neck it would go faster

A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon. The boy has his dog pulling it with a rope attached to the dogs balls.

Funny Questions and Answers about Birds

Here’s a collection of funny questions and answers about birds.

Funny Questions and Answers about Bees

Here’s a collection of funny questions and answers about bees. Consider it “everything you wanted to know about bees but were afraid to ask”.

Man, that was one delicious leopard

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, “Boy, I’m in deep doo doo now.” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

How do you prepare your Chickens?

“May I take your order?” the waiter asked. “Yes. I’m just wondering, how do you prepare your chickens?”