A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, “Boy, I’m in deep doo doo now.” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Jokes in the ‘Animals and Wildlife’ Category
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How do you prepare your Chickens?
March 11th, 2011 
jokester “May I take your order?” the waiter asked. “Yes. I’m just wondering, how do you prepare your chickens?”
In Gorilla Sign Language that Means @#$! You
March 4th, 2011 jokester This man went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla’s enclosure, the wind gusted and he got some grit in his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the man came to his senses, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he explained what had happened. The zookeeper nodded and explained that in gorilla language, pulling down your eyelid means “*@#$! you”.
The Heckling Parrot
February 15th, 2011 jokester A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Bear Questions and Answers
February 12th, 2011 jokester You asked for it and Funny Grins delivers. Questions and Answers from those lovable but scary creatures – Bears!
Ant Questions and Answers
February 12th, 2011 jokester You asked for it and Funny Grins delivers. Questions and Answers from those little critters we love to hate – ants!
How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
February 12th, 2011 jokester You asked for it and Funny Grins delivers. How many dogs, broken down by breed, does it take to change a light bulb?
We Ain’t Got No Gators Around Here
February 12th, 2011 jokester While sports fishing just off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?”
I’m Gonna Freeze the Attitude Out of That Parrot
February 6th, 2011 jokester A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
Does your monkey eat everything in sight?
January 29th, 2011 jokester A man is in a bar with his pet monkey. The man orders a drink and while he’s drinking the monkey jumps around all over the place grabbing some olives off the bar and eating them. Then he grabs some sliced limes off the glasses and eats them. Then he jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, swallows it whole.
(4.00 out of 5)