A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.”
Jokes in the ‘Attorney Jokes’ Category
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Witness, Please Answer the Question
February 6th, 2011 
jokester One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no- nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it’s rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney.
I got away with murder
January 5th, 2011 jokester Two prisoners are in their jail cells talking about the crimes that they committed. Prisoner 1: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years”.
Attorney Questions and Answers
January 5th, 2011 jokester Question: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Answer: Read on…
Touch Lawyer Math
January 5th, 2011 jokester An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?”
This is how you know you’re really drunk
January 5th, 2011 jokester A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double.
Your Dad’s a What?
January 5th, 2011 jokester A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”
Are you Talking to Me?
January 5th, 2011 jokester At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
New Judge in Town
January 5th, 2011 jokester An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
Replacing Lab Rats with Lawyers
January 5th, 2011 jokester The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.
(4.00 out of 5)