A doctor and an attorney were attending a formal party where they started up a casual conversation. As they talked, people kept approaching the doctor describing their aches and pains and asking the doctor for advice.
Jokes in the ‘Attorney Jokes’ Category
An attorney and his new lover were married. On their wedding night, as they climbed into bed, the woman told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” The husband was shocked to hear this because the woman had been married ten times before.
A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.”
One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no- nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it’s rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney.
Two prisoners are in their jail cells talking about the crimes that they committed. Prisoner 1: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years”.
Question: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Answer: Read on…
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?”
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double.
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”