An old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn. He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast a possible. The man walks up to the boy and says “You know son, its really not healthy to eat all that candy.”
Jokes in the ‘Elderly’ Category
Bernie was eating dinner at a friend’s home when he noticed that Morris, the dinner host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
An elderly widow and widower had been dating for over five years. The oldman finally decided to ask her to marry him. Without hesitation, she immediately said “yes”. The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was!
Two elderly ladies have played bridge together for many years, and naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game of cards, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, “I realize we’ve known each other for many years, but for the life of me, I just can’t bring it to mind… would you please tell me your name again, dear?”
A group of senior citizens were talking at the breakfast table in a Victoria nursing home. “My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one. “Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, neither could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light”.
An elderly couple went to the doctor complaining about their memory loss. The doctor explained it is normal, and suggested they try and write things down. In the evening the husband said, “I’m going to get something to snack on. Do you want something?”
An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boarding house, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady.
A couple was having their 50th anniversary and the man wanted to buy something special for his wife. He went into a ladies clothing store and asked if they had any negligees suitable for a 50th anniversary. The clerk assured him that they had and brought out a lovely satin gown.