Poor technical support employees. They have to put up with unbelievably stupid people calling in with tech support inquiries such as these…
Jokes in the ‘Nerd Stuff’ Category
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Fascinating and Funny Biology Facts
March 1st, 2011 
jokester If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now, that’s more like it.)
The Nerd with the Fairy Princess Frog
February 12th, 2011 jokester An computer programmer is walking along the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I’ll spend the week with you.”
Spend Time with Wife or Mistress?
February 12th, 2011 jokester An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or the mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The Bike was a Good Choice
February 12th, 2011 jokester Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground…”
Dave’s Wonder Watch
February 12th, 2011 jokester Dave is struggling through the Dallas airport terminal with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a man stops him and says “Pardon me, do you have the time?” Dave sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to three”, he says.
Microsoft’s New Girlfriend Software Application
February 6th, 2011 jokester I’m currently running the latest version of Microsoft GirlFriend and I’ve been having some problems lately. I’ve been running the same Version of MS DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I’ve tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I’m embarrassed to say I can’t find the switch to turn the sound off.
Sometimes it Does Take a Rocket Scientist
February 6th, 2011 jokester Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all travelling at maxi- mum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
A Monkey Can Do It
February 6th, 2011 jokester A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he’s there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey, please”. The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying “That’ll be $5,000″. The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
How Specs Live Forever
February 6th, 2011 jokester The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
(4.00 out of 5)