A man is drinking in a bar. After he’s been drinking for a while he mentions that his girlfriend is out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it is so cold, goes to check on her. When he looks inside the car, he sees the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shakes his head and walks back inside.
Jokes Tagged ‘bar’
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Lending a drunk a helping hand
January 27th, 2011 
jokester A man is in a bar after a long night of drinking when he notices a drunk who keeps falling off his stool. The man finishes his drink watching the other man trying to get back up onto his stool. Feeling a bit sorry for the drunk, the man tries to help him stand up, but the drunk just keeps falling back down to the floor.
Can I have a coaster with my drink
January 27th, 2011 jokester A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender puts a coaster and a beer on the bar. Ten minutes later the man orders another beer. The bartender brings him the beer and sees that that coaster has disappeared, so he brings another one. Ten minutes later, another beer, and again the coaster is missing.
You’d drink fast too if you had what I have
January 27th, 2011 jokester A man walks into a bar and asks for 12 whiskeys. He then commences to slamming them down, one after the other, as fast as he can. The bartender asks, “Why are you drinking those whiskeys so fast?”
Give me a beer before the problems start
January 26th, 2011 jokester A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before problems start!” He drinks the beer, then orders another, shouting, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender looks confused.
How many times are you going to throw me out of this bar
January 26th, 2011 jokester A man stumbles into a bar and begins ordering drink after drink. The bartender throws the man out for being too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar and again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks back into the bar. The bartender is just about to throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, “How many bars do you own, anyway?”
If he can fly then so can I
January 26th, 2011 jokester A man walks into a bar located on the top floor of a 70 story skyscraper. He takes a seat. Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniels. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window. Much to everyone’s surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar. The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it.
All the things we have in common
January 24th, 2011 jokester Two men are sitting in a bar and the first one asks if the other one if he can buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks, “Where are you from?” “I”m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
Give me three pints of Guinness please
January 22nd, 2011 jokester A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me three bottles of Guinness, please.” So the bartender brings him three bottles and the man proceeds to sip one, then the next, and then the third until they’re gone. He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low.”
Your Scotch tastes like Piss
January 22nd, 2011 jokester An old man walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of 40-year-old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of 10-year-old Scotch and figures that the man won’t be able to tell the difference. The man downs the Scotch and says, “This Scotch is only 10 years old! I specifically asked for 40-year-old Scotch.”
