Jokes Tagged ‘dog’

Funny dog Halloween costumes that look like something is riding on it

Here’s a collection of funny dog costumes, all available on Amazon, that make the dog look like something is riding on it.              

Gonna get my dog really, really clean

An little kid went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to use it to wash my dog.”

I believe my puppy killed your doberman

A nervous little man, wandered into a tough biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”

My dog is smarter than your dog

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which one had the smartest dog. First Woman : “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.

I keep imagining that I’m a dog

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor!” he started. I’ve got this problem,” the man continued. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!”

It you tied it around his neck it would go faster

A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon. The boy has his dog pulling it with a rope attached to the dogs balls.

Ever had a day where you felt like this?

Have you ever had a day where you felt like this? Funny picture of dog sitting on cat’s head.

Oh hey, here’s your problem right here

Oh hey, here’s your problem right here

Jesus is watching you

A burglar breaks into a home. He spots a stereo system that looks good so he grabs it. Then he hears a voice “JESUS is watching you”.

And how was your day?

And how was your day? The owner of this dog got quite a surprise when they returned home from work.