Jokes Tagged ‘medical’

But I know this is not my seat

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the crowded movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed to occupy one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge an inch.

Dr. Kevorkian(the Suicide Doctor) Jokes

A collection of Dr. Kevorkian jokes. God rest his soul… Dr. Kevorkian. We called him a ‘suicide doctor’? That’s like calling a fireman a ‘pyromaniac fireman.’

Funny patient response to doctor threat of $50 charge for no show appointment

We’ve all heard this before. Some medical establishments charge a fee if you miss or cancel an appointment. In this case, the patient received a letter informing them that they had an upcoming appointment and would be charged $50 if they did not show up. Seeing that the patient never made the appointment in the first place, he cleverly turns the tables on the doctor’s office in this humorous response.

I couldn’t walk for a year after my operation

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

Let me explain to you how to use that thing

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.”

What are you taking for your face?

First Boy: Dammit, I forgot to take my medicine this morning. Second Boy: Is is for your face?

Hillbilly Medical Dictionary

Hillbillys have a surprisingly good understanding of medicine and medical terminology. Here is a list of hillbilly defined medical terms.

Top 14 Viruses to be on the Lookout For

Be On The Lookout For The Following New Viruses