Jokes Tagged ‘quote’

Funny Will Rogers Political Quotes

Elections are really a good deal like marriages, there’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Every time you see a bridegroom, we wonder why she picked him, and it’s the same with public officials.

Funny Churchill and George Bernard Shaw Telegrams

Winston Churchill was renowned for his witty sense of humor and George Bernard Shaw was no slouch in that department either. George Bernard Shaw playfully telegrammed Winston Churchill just prior to the opening of his new play, Major Barbara, offering Churchill tickets to the show. The telegrams went as follows:

Words of wisdom from the Zen Master

A few moments of zen, words of wisdom to live by such as: Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

Funny Bumper Stickers and T-Shirt Slogans

The following are a collection of funny quotes taken straight from car bumper stickers.

Wise Saying for not so Wise People

The following are wise sayings from Funny Grins’ very own Jokester. Life is sexually transmitted. Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane….

Famous Funny Quotes

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – Ellen DeGeneris. “I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.” – Carol Leifer.