One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, “How sure are ya that she is gonna kill you? Did she threaten you?”
Jokes Tagged ‘wife’
Posted in 
Tags: 
The Best Thing to Stuff a Lion With
February 14th, 2011 
jokester A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “when did you bag him?” The host said, “that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.”
Spend Time with Wife or Mistress?
February 12th, 2011 jokester An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or the mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
It Takes a Woman to be a CIA Agent
February 12th, 2011 jokester A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to 2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The control I have over my wife
January 30th, 2011 jokester Three men are talking about their wives. Two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent. After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?”
How stupid are our wives
January 29th, 2011 jokester An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman are in a bar drinking and discussing how stupid their wives are. The Englishman says, “I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in.”
Quick, get the escargot to the party
January 27th, 2011 jokester Frantically readying for a fancy French party, the wife asks the husband if he can run to the store and buy some escargot for the party. “Sure!”, he says and tears out the door. On the way he decides to stop at his favorite bar for a quick drink. After and hour or so, he looks at his watch and suddenly remembers what he was supposed to be doing.
The Husband Store for Impossible Women
January 1st, 2011 jokester A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates…
Hello? Can I have the Moon?
December 31st, 2010 jokester Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
But who wants to buy mom?
December 31st, 2010 jokester Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
(4.00 out of 5)