Actual label instructions on consumer goods:
- On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
- On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
- On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
- Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
- On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
- On Tesco’s Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
- On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
- On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
- On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: may cause drowsiness.
- On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning. Keep out of children.
- On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
- On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
- On Sainsbury’s Peanuts Warning: contains nuts.
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
- On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.