Funny Bar Signs

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The following are actual signs hanging in various drinking establishments around the country.

I got this pool table for my wife
I got this pool table for my wife
If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean
If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean
If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance
If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes
If you're smokingin here you'd better be on fire
If you're smokingin here you'd better be on fire
4 out of 5 dentists recommend hockey
4 out of 5 dentists recommend hockey
The toes you step on today might be connected
The toes you step on today might be connected
Don't talk about yourself.  We'll do that after you leave.
Don't talk about yourself. We'll do that after you leave.
Notice: This boat is skippered by the captain.
Notice: This boat is skippered by the captain.
Please aim straight.  Those after you may be on all fours.
Please aim straight. Those after you may be on all fours.
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