The following are actual signs hanging in various drinking establishments around the country.
I got this pool table for my wifeIf you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain meanIf you're drinking to forget, please pay in advanceIf you're not the lead dog, the view never changesIf you're smokingin here you'd better be on fire4 out of 5 dentists recommend hockeyThe toes you step on today might be connectedDon't talk about yourself. We'll do that after you leave.Notice: This boat is skippered by the captain.Please aim straight. Those after you may be on all fours.