Note: Many Osama (Usama) bin Laden references below are topical and related to other news events of the day. Read jokes in context of the date the death occurred.
Osama bin Laden’s death In the news headlines
News Flash: Osama bin Laden dead. Trump demands death certificate [days after Trump demanded the birth certificate of President Obama].
Osama bin Laden – Out of the Playoffs [Obama death occurred during the NBA playoffs].
Osama bin Laden Releases New Cave Video: Claims Al-Qaeda Responsible for his Death
Breaking News: U.S. Terror Alert Level raised to “Confetti”
Breaking News: Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damme return home early from last minute holiday at a secret location…
Osama Bin Laden was pronounced dead today. HIs condition is described as Good.
News Flash: Al-Qaeda Claims Responsibility for Osama’s Death
Osama bin Laden is Dead Twitter posts
They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life…
Bin Laden must have had his contact information in his PlayStation account…
What did al-Qaida learn from Osama bin Laden’s death? Location, location, location.
At least he got to see the royal wedding before he went out.
This is good news for the other guys on the top 10 wanted list – finally they get to move up in the rankings.
Wait! Nobody celebrate until we find Waldo too!
My birth certificate? Seriously Trump? Trump this, bitch.
How sad. Mrs. bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to Single/Widowed…
Man, I would NOT want to be 72 virgins right now…
Looks like Osama signed up for Foursquare on the wrong day…
Queue the 9 and a half year search for the “body”…
Osama Bin Laden is dead but we still need to find the other 7 horcruxes.
Save country from financial ruin – Check. Provide birth certificate for nay sayers – Check. Find and kill Osama – Check. Resolve Democrat and Republican animosity by salvaging at least a part of Bush’s legacy – Damn, how many years do I have left?
[As Internet traffic surged and social networking sites experienced slowdowns] As his last act of terrorism, Osama Bin Laden is blowing up my facebook newsfeed…
Osama bin Laden is Dead – Funny (and stupid) Facebook Posts
My mom just doesn’t get it
My mom was so excited about Osama’s death that she changed her Facebook profile picture. I don’t think she gets its…
The killed who?
John: I cant believe Osama is dead…
Jule: What? What happenedd?
John: Where have you been? He was killed last night.
Julie: You’re kidding me. The President is dead?
But I do geography
Wait who is osama bin laden again? I thought he got hung like 4 years ago? Considering I do geography i should reeeeally know this kinda thing
Toby Keith just wrote two albums in the last hour.
Mark Twain: “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.”
R.I.P Osama Bin Laden – World Hide And Go Seek Champion (2001 – 2011)
So Bin Laden is finally dead. It’s amazing what the Americans can do when the PlayStation network is down. [the death occurred during a prolonged, major outage of the Sony PlayStation network]
Looks like Jeff Dunham is going to have another partner for Achmed the Dead Terrorist
I would make an Osama joke but they’ve probably all Bin done.
Saturday Morning -Prince William and wife postpone honeymoon and fly off on helicopter. The Couple have asked that their privacy be respected during the coming weekend.
Saturday Night – Col Gaddafi’s son and grandchildren bombed.
Sunday Night – Osama Bin Laden killed
Osama will be kicking himself, if he’d been martyred before Friday night there would have been the off-chance of Kate being one of his 70 virgins.. [the Prince William/Kate Royal Wedding had just concluded prior to Bin Laden’s death]
“One thing we learned, bombing works. … We’ve flown over 2,800 sorties, dropped 15 tons in warheads, and done $39 in damage. But we’re a compassionate nation … and when this is all over, we’re going to put the rocks and dirt back.” —Comedian Al Franken
Dear Osama—–I WIN! Sincerely Waldo.
Osama found hiding in mansion in Abbottabad. Talk abbotabad place to try and hide…
[From Obama to bloggers across the Internet] Come on guys, The S and the B are not even that close together.
I swear, if Barack Obama finds WMDs in Iraq I’m gonna be pissed…
Bush: Hmmmm…. In a mansion? I guess when they said he had a “really cool man cave”, I misunderstood… [for several years it was thought that Bin Laden was hiding in a remote cave]
Neal Brennan: “So great to see Barack Obama defeat the man who brought so much pain to the city of New York – Donald Trump.” [Days before the big news was Trump demanding to see Obama’s birth certificate proving he was born in the United States]
A man walks into a bar and orders a “Bin Laden”.
Bartender asks, “what’s a Bin Laden?”
Man responds, “Two shots with a splash of water.”
Click the pictures below for a full-size view of the picture.