Stand up Comedy Quotes
Dr. Kevorkian. We called him a ‘suicide doctor’? That’s like calling a fireman a ‘pyromaniac fireman.’
So what’s malpractice for Dr. Kevorkian? You live?
I believe Dr. Kevorkian is onto something. I think he’s great. Because suicide is our way of saying to God, “You can’t fire me. I quit.” (Bill Maher)
Jack Kevorkian once said, “The pay is okay, but the work is murder…”
Kevorkian Pick-up Lines
Top Ten Dr. Kevorkian Pick-up Lines
10. The papers call me ‘Dr. Death,’ but the ladies call me ‘Dr. Love’
9. Can I buy you a cyanide margarita?
8. You are drop-dead gorgeous!
7. I have needs that can’t be met by killing people in the back of my van
6. Want to hear about my new suicide technique? Swimming the Hudson
5. You’ll never go out with anyone else again
4. My friends say I look like Brad Pitt — but the probably just say that so I don’t kill them
3. If you put a quarter in my suicide machine, it vibrates
2. In my professional medical opinion, you are terminally hot
1. How about a non-lethal injection?
Q: Why did chicken Dr. Kevorkian cross the road?
A: To help the patient find the other side.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician!
Dr. Jack died doing what he loved the most- dying.
In the News
Jack Kevorkian has been released from prison eight years after a tape of him helping a terminally ill man commit suicide was broadcast on “60 Minutes”. Kevorkian has promised authorities he will not assist in any more suicide attempts for the terminally ill, though he did tell “60 Minutes” producers that if Andy Rooney catches a cold, they have his number.
I heard this on WBCN (Boston) radio last night: Jack Kevorkian now want’s a gun permit, do you know what this means? The drive-through is now open.