A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed
There once was a guy named Matt
Who had an overly large cat
When it chased a mouse
It shook the whole house
So Matt got rid of the cat.
A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I’ll be darned if I know how the hellican?
There once was a funny old whale
who had a magnificent tail
A seaport moved out
when the whale came about
and attempted to swim in a pail.
A dinosaur stomped into a mall
where people are tiny and small
Now why did you think
I was really extinct
the dinosaur roared with a drawl.
There was a fat cat on a mat
Who liked to chase mice named pat.
He chased them around
And fell on the ground
And smashed them until they were flat!
A centipede from Syracuse
Played 2nd base for the Backyard Blues.
He was two hours late
Reporting to the plate
After tying all of his shoes.
There once was a cat named Pat,
Who didn’t know where he was at,
He looked up and down,
and then turned around,
Ran into a wall and went splat!!!
There once was a bear at the zoo
Who always had something to do
When it bored him, you know,
to go to and fro,
he reversed it and went fro and to.
There once was a kitty named spike,
A daring and very bold tyke.
He took many chances,
Without consequences,
Until he got squashed by a bike.
There was a toxic rat,
Who loved to slurp up fat,
He burped up a gopher,
That smelled of sulfur,
And also threw up a cat!
There once was a boy named Lee,
Who liked to throw rocks at a tree.
One day the tree quivered,
and Lee shaked and shivered
When out shot hundreds of bees!
There lived a young cow in MA
He always had his own say
On the grass he would chew
Saying merrily moo moo
He often even ate hay
There once was a snake named Lena,
Who swallowed a concertina,
And when she was squeezed,
Way up in the trees
She played the macerena.
There once was a Kangaroo
Who lived in a large zoo
He had a big pouch
when he fell he said ouch
That was pretty stupid too
There once was a cute little bunny,
Who I thought was sweet and funny.
He ate all the carrots,
And looked at the parrots,
And that was my cute little bunny.
There once was a frog from a city
Who jumped on a really cute kitty
He thought he might
Get thrown out at night
And walk on home feeling pity.
There once was a butterfly from France.
Who flew up and did a dance.
She thought that she might
crash into a kite
And never do another dance.
There once was a frog from a pond
Who hopped to a really long frond
She thought that she might
Escape from the light
And hide before she turned blonde
There once was a deer called Buck,
And into the garden he snuck,
he waited all night,
til’ the time was right,
Then jumped out and got hit by a truck!
One day, when Joey the snail
Stepped out to fetch his mail,
A human being
Without really seeing
Did step on poor Joey’s tail.
There once was a frog named Cog
who liked to sit on a log
one day he slipped off
because of his cough
and now he’s in the bog
There once was a dog named Dred
His masters name was Fred
He fell off his bike
When he hit a spike
Now Dred’s master is dead.
What a wonderful bird is the pelican
His beak can hold more than his belly can
He can hold in his beak
Food enough for a week
But I’ll be damned if I know how the hell he can.
There once was a very small bug.
Every one liked to call him Doug.
He walked on the cement,
And ended up getting bent.
Now he looks just like a slug.
There once was a lizard named Fred,
Who liked to sleep in his bed
His bed of concrete
Heck! It was the street!
And now you know why he’s dead.
There once was a pig in New York.
The butcher said what good pork.
His knife went slish slash,
Cut open a gash,
Now the butcher he needs just a fork.
There was a young curate from Kew
Who kept a tom cat in a pew
And taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got further than ‘µ’.
There once was a man, named Bill Clinton
Who owned a cat named “Socks” from a kitten
He said,” You know, Sock
Your the only friend that I Got”
Sock said,”Who the hell are you sh*****?
In a castle that had a deep moat
Lived a chicken a duck and a goat
They wanted to go out
And wounder about
But all they needed was a boat
On a farm lived a talking llama
Who had to be killed by the farma.
He kept down his dread
(’til they lopped off his head)
By singing John Lennon’s “Instant Kharma”.
There once was a bird colored blue
that would simply sit in the dew
one day it got wet
and so their it set
until the wind finally blew
