Food and Drink Limericks

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There once was a lady from Hyde,

Who ate a green apple and died,

While her lover lamented,

The apple fermented,

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and made cider inside her inside.


There once was a lady named Perkins

Who simply doted on Gherkins

They were so nice

She ate too much spice

and pickled her internal workin’s


A sweet-toothed man from DeBreeth

Was sweet-toothed without any teeth.

He said, in my eye,

“Looketh good, that there pie.

Now, could I jutht have one thmall peeth?”


The once was a woman named Pat

Who just ate butter and sat;

She withered away

Until one day

Nothing was left butter fat.


There was a young fellow of Leeds

Who swallowed six packets of seeds.

In a month,silly ass,

He was covered with grass,

And he couldn’t sit down for the weeds.


There was a guy named Willy

Who liked to eat chile,

One day he ate too much,

His stomach went grunch

and made his house a smelly.


There once was a lady names Linda,

Who sat all day by the winda.

Her thoughts set astray

By a nice Cabernet,

While her dinna turned into a cinda.


I once met a man from Alaska,

Who ate only bowls of Pasta,

He went away,

And too his dismay,

They never again make Pasta!!!


There once was a guy named Sam

Who never experienced spam

He gave it a shot

And liked it allot

From then on he disliked ham.


A hungry young fellow named Marvin

Sat dreaming of turkeys and carvin’.

So a lady brought Spam,

But he said, “Thank you, ma’am;

I prefer the alternative: starvin’.”


There one was a man from Peru,

Who dreamed of eating his shoe,

he awoke with a fright,

in the middle of the night,

and found that his dream had come true!


There was a farmer from Leeds,

Who ate six packets of seeds,

It soon came to pass ,

He was covered with grass,

And he couldn’t sit down for the weeds


there once was a guy who ate shrooms

He took them and ate them in rooms

one day he dropped one

then put it on a bun

now when he farts, flowers bloom


I shivered and started to pine

When handed a glass of turpentine

And said, “Sorry, daddy-o,

This goes on the patio,

And does not taste at all like red wine.”


There once was an old guy from Ruit

who wouldn’t eat nothin’ but fruit

he danced with the dog

had tea with a hog

which made most the people eat soup


I remember a fellow named Louie,

Who ate 17 bowls of chop- suey,

When the eighteenth was brought,

He became overwrought,

And we watched as poor Louie went Blooie!!


 

 

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