There is this girl we all know.
Who’s more beautiful than fresh fallen snow.
She’s loving and kind,
much better than fine.
She’s one in a trillion or so.
Now there’s this lad named Dave.
Who was quite a witty young knave.
He met this girl,
his head did a twirl.
Now it is her love he doth crave.
What I’m trying to say not very clearly.
Elizabeth, I love you dearly.
Will you be mine,
for all of time?
I mean all this quite sincerely.
There once was a man named Bill Beebee
Who was in love with a girl named Phoebe
He said I must see
what the wedding fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe B. Beebee
There once was a chick from 408
She met a guy who asked her for a date.
They wined and they dined,
having a wonderful time,
hoping their new friendship would never abate
There once was a boy named Bill,
who had quite a fancy for Jill,
but like him she did not,
for he was full of snot,
so Bill got nil, and hooked up with Phil!
There once was this guy-DiCaprio
Whose acting was only so-so
He’s cute, he’s so fine
I wish he were mine
To a wedding chapel we would go.
There was a young girl from Oliver,
And all the men did follow her,
Until a guy came along,
And played her his song,
And all the rest quit call’n her.
A young woman who upon her divan
was attacked by a virile young man
“Such excess of passion
is quite out of fashion”
And she fractured his wrist with her fan
The bottle of perfume that Willie sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent
Her thanks were so cold
They quarrelled, I’m told
Through that silly scent Willie sent Millicent