Offbeat Limericks


There was a young man named Wyatt

whose voice was exceedingly quiet

And then one day

it faded away


A disgusting old man from La Jolla

Has a habit that’s sure to anolla.

Before telling a joke

He’ll give you a poke,

And remark, “This’ll really destrolla.”

A thpeeth teacther named Mitheth Bathye

Had thome thtudentth who acted quite lathye;

They lithped and they thputtered,

And thome of them th-th-thtuttered:

She thought they might jutht drive her crathye.

A canner exceedingly canny

One morning remarked to his granny

A canner can can

Anything that he can

But a canner can¹t can a can, can he?

There once was a man named Clegm

Who had a great deal of phlegm.

Ahegm, ahegm,

Ahegm, ahegm,

Ahegm, ahegm, ahegm.

There once was a dragon named Dey-Do

Who ate nothing but old dried out Play-Do

When he met an old man

With his head in a pan

He thought he had met a potato.

Once in the rain I saw a man,

Strolling with an umbrella in hand.

When I said it was insane

To walk in the rain,

He said ” Well then, I’ll just stand”.

I know a Prince named Will,

Who’s mother has been killed.

Oh, he loved her so,

And with tears he showed,

How truly her love was real.

There once was a poet named Chuck,

who couldn’t find a rhyme for the word duck.

Despite all his crying,

and hours of trying,

He threw up his arms and yelled I’m stuck!





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