Did Ya’ Ever Just Wonder…
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it’s zero outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you’re born again, do you have two belly buttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Why do they call them “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?