Why did the chicken cross the road?
PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.”
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSAIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
KEN STARR I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road. The chicken is another pawn in the president’s ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES I have just released the “eChicken 2000” program operating system, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and loose them AND balance your checkbook.
EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
GEORGE W. BUSH I don’t think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens and said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?