Sure fire signs that your cow has mad-cow disease…
- Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
- She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”
- Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
- Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
- Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.
- Your cow demands to be branded with the ‘Golden Archs Logo’.
- Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
- Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.
- Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
- She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.
- Your cow joins the Hell’s Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket.
- Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
- Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting “MOO” backwards.
- Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
- Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you’ll wear something sexy this time.
- Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells “Bullseye”!
- Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called “LaCream Abdul Milkbar”.
- Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
- Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.
- You find your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago.
- Your cow keeps wanting to chew other cows cuds.
- Your cow believes it could really jump over the moon like in the nursery rhyme if it had a really good run at it.