Top Reasons Why it’s Great to be a Guy

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82 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Guy

  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
  3. You know stuff about tanks.
  4. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  5. Monday Night Football.
  6. You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.
  7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
  8. You can open all your own jars.
  9. Old friends don’t care whether you’ve lost or gained weight.
  10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.
  11. When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
  12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
  13. A beer gut doesn’t make you invisible to the opposite sex.
  14. Guy in hockey masks don’t attack you (unless you smash ’em into the boards).
  15. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
  16. You understand why Stripes is funny.
  17. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
  18. Your last name stays put.
  19. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
  20. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
  21. You can kill your own food.
  22. The garage is all yours.
  23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  24. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
  25. You never have to clean a toilet.
  26. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. YUP!!!!
  27. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  28. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
  29. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
  30. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
  31. You don’t have to shave below your neck.
  32. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
  33. If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.
  34. You can write your name in the snow.
  35. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
  36. Chocolate is just another snack.
  37. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)
  38. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
  39. Flowers fix everything.
  40. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.
  41. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
  42. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
  43. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
  44. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
  45. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s coming by.
  46. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  47. You don’t care if anyone notices your new haircut.
  48. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me.
  49. The world is your urinal.
  50. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s about to leave you.
  51. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
  52. One mood, all the time
  53. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
  54. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.
  55. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
  56. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.
  57. Same work…more pay!
  58. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
  59. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
  60. You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind you back.
  61. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
  62. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
  63. The remote control is yours and yours alone.
  64. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  65. ESPN’s SportsCenter.
  66. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  67. Bachelor parties beat bridal showers every time.
  68. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
  69. You needn’t pretend you’re “Freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
  70. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your other friends you’ve changed.
  71. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.
  72. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “Screw it.”
  73. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
  74. Princess Di’s death was just another obituary.
  75. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  76. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
  77. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
  78. New shoes don’t blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
  79. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
  80. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So…notice anything different?”
  81. Baywatch
  82. There’s always a game on somewhere.
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