Funny Facebook and Twitter Excuses

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… really wishes she could but, I have to floss my cat.

… really wishes she could but, I want to spend more time with my blender.

… really wishes she could but, I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.

… really wishes she could but, I swallowed my gold crown this morning, and I have to wait here until it comes out the other end.

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… really wishes she could but, I have to stay home and wash my tongue.

… really wishes she could but, I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

… really wishes she could but, I’m getting my overalls overhauled.

… really wishes she could but, My patent is pending.

… really wishes she could but, I’m worried about my vertical hold.

… really wishes she could but, I have to fulfill my potential.

… really wishes she could but, I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.

… really wishes she could but, I’m giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.

… really wishes she could but, I’ve got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.

… really wishes she could but, I have to answer all of my “occupant” letters.

… really wishes she could but, I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.

… really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

… really wishes she could but, My yucca plant is feeling yucky.

… really wishes she could but, I just picked up a book called Glue in Many Lands and I can’t put it down.

… really wishes she could but, I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

… really wishes she could but, I have to rotate my crops.

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