THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
- You believe in Santa Claus.
- You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
- You are Santa Claus.
- You look like Santa Claus.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
- No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
- You can’t trust dogs to watch your food..
- Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
- You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts..
- The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
- Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
- Wrinkles don’t hurt.
- Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
- Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground…
- Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
- Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
At age 4 success is . . . . Not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is .. . … ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money….
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . … . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not peeing in your pants.