Funny bird one-liner jokes

What do you call a minor bird accident?

A feather bender.

 

Why did the duck go ring-ring?

He got a phone bill.

 

What did the little bird say to the big bird?

Peck on someone your own size.

 

What do you call a formal dance for ducks?

A fowl ball.

 

What kind of ducks rob banks?

Safe quackers.

 

Why was the duck unhappy?

His bill was in the mail.

 

Why did the pigeon need to get out?

He was cooped up at home all week.

 

Which bird does construction work?

The crane!

 

Which birds work underground?

Myna (miner) birds.

 

What kind of doctor treats a duck?

A quack doctor!

 

I believe my puppy killed your doberman

A nervous little man, wandered into a tough biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”

A giant of a man, wearing biker leather pants, full beard, and covered in tattoos, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and growled, “It’s my dog. What of it?”

“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”

“What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What kind of dog do you have?”

“Well sir,” whispered the little man, “it’s a four week old little puppy.”

“Bull!” roared the biker, “how could your little puppy kill my Doberman?”

“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”