A man arrives at his home after an exhausting day at work. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a drink before it starts.” The wife rolls her eyes, sighs and gets him a drink.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another drink before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another drink and slams it down on the table next to him.
The man finishes that dring and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another drink, it’s going to start any minute.”
By this time, the wife is furious. She yells at him “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink and sit on your lazy butt in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore …”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started …”
In this funny beer commercial, the wife shows how elegantly a woman enters a jacuzzi while the husband shows how a real man gets into the hottub.
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their alcohol consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day , he just wasn’t paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man’s death.
He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, “I’m sorry to tell you, but poor old Murphy passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned.”
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, “Tell me, did he suffer?”
“I don’t think so,” said the foreman: “He got out three times to go to the men’s room.”