business

There once was a boy named John

Who owned a fifty-dollar bond

He felt so lucky

He bought a BIG rubber ducky

And now his money is all gone

A greasy old wino named Ray

gave the dollar “Lotto” a play.

Son of a bitch!

The bum struck it rich

and now he swills Mouton-Cadet!

Arkansas Watermelon Businessmen

February 15, 2011 by jokester

Two Arkansas farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they’d paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they’d ended up with no more money than they’d started with.

“See!” said one. “I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck.”

What if these Company’s Merged?

February 12, 2011February 6, 2011 by jokester

Corporate mergers are quite common. Often when companies merge, they use a combination of their company names to form an entirely new company name. The following are possible mergers and Funny Grins’ suggestion for what the new company could be named.

Fairchild Electronics & Honeywell Computers = Fairwell Honeychild.

Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, & Keebler = Poly- Warner-Cracker.

W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, & Hale Business Systems = Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

Intel, Yahoo, & Netscape: = Net’n’Yahoo relocated to InTel Aviv.

3M & Goodyear = mmmGood

John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi

Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I’m Home

Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine

3M & JC Penney & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penney Opera

Knott’s Berry Farm & National Organization of Women = Knott NOW

Crabtree and Evelyn & Apple Computer = Crab Apple

Swissair & Cheseborough-Ponds = Swisscheese