There once was a boy named John
Who owned a fifty-dollar bond
He felt so lucky
He bought a BIG rubber ducky
And now his money is all gone
A greasy old wino named Ray
gave the dollar “Lotto” a play.
Son of a bitch!
The bum struck it rich
and now he swills Mouton-Cadet!
Two Arkansas farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they’d paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they’d ended up with no more money than they’d started with.
“See!” said one. “I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck.”
Corporate mergers are quite common. Often when companies merge, they use a combination of their company names to form an entirely new company name. The following are possible mergers and Funny Grins’ suggestion for what the new company could be named.
Fairchild Electronics & Honeywell Computers = Fairwell Honeychild.
Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, & Keebler = Poly- Warner-Cracker.
W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, & Hale Business Systems = Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Intel, Yahoo, & Netscape: = Net’n’Yahoo relocated to InTel Aviv.
3M & Goodyear = mmmGood
John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi
Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I’m Home
Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine
3M & JC Penney & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penney Opera
Knott’s Berry Farm & National Organization of Women = Knott NOW
Crabtree and Evelyn & Apple Computer = Crab Apple
Swissair & Cheseborough-Ponds = Swisscheese
Zippo Manufacturing & Audi & Dofasco & Dakota Mining = Zip Audi Do Da