My Dog did What?

A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.”

“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.

Mind if I talk to your sheep?

A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Oklahoma Hills .

Cowboy: “Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”

Indian: “Dog no talk.”

Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”

Dog: “Doin’ all right.”

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” (pointing at the Indian)

Dog: “Yep.”

Cowboy: “How does he treat you?”

Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”

Indian: “Horse no talk.”

Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”

Horse: “Really good.  Thanks.”

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: “Is this your owner?” (pointing to the Indian)

Horse: “Yep.”

Cowboy: ” How’s he treat you?”

Horse: “Pretty good.  He rides me , brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather.”

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”

Indian: “Sheep lie.”

Disguised blonde counting sheep

A blonde dyed her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on.  She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm.  She said to the farmer, “If I can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?”

“Ok,” said the farmer.   So she quickly counted them and said 91.

The farmer looked around astonished and said, “Alright take one.”

As she was walking back to her car the farmer said, “If I can guess your natural hair color can I have my dog back?”