Funny bird one-liner jokes

What do you call a minor bird accident?

A feather bender.

 

Why did the duck go ring-ring?

He got a phone bill.

 

What did the little bird say to the big bird?

Peck on someone your own size.

 

What do you call a formal dance for ducks?

A fowl ball.

 

What kind of ducks rob banks?

Safe quackers.

 

Why was the duck unhappy?

His bill was in the mail.

 

Why did the pigeon need to get out?

He was cooped up at home all week.

 

Which bird does construction work?

The crane!

 

Which birds work underground?

Myna (miner) birds.

 

What kind of doctor treats a duck?

A quack doctor!

 

Animal Questions and Answers

Get it here first.  Rarely heard but real-life animal questions and answers from Funny Grins.

Q: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers

Q: What kind of necktie does a pig wear?
A: A pigsty

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not going to come anyway.

Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: A fallen penguin rolling down a hill.

Q: What is black and white and laughing?
A: The penguin that pushed him.

Got any bread?

A duck walks into a store and says, “Got any bread?”

The salesman says, “No.”

The duck says, “Got any bread?”

The salesman says, “NO!”

“Got any bread?”

“I said N-O, NO!”

“Got any bread?”

“For crying out loud – N-O spells NO, and I mean NO!”

“Got any bread?”

“NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!”

“Got any bread?”

“Look, if you ask me one more time if I’ve got any bread, I’m going to nail your beak to the wall!”

“Got any nails?”

“No.”

“Got any bread?”