Body Part Limericks

I met a man once named Job,

Who made an earring from a glob.

Now, isn’t that queer?

A glob on his ear?

He now has a twenty-foot lob.

The once was a man with a fro

who went by the name of Moe.

One dark night

He forgot his light,

And what’d ya know, he stubs his toe!

There once was a man named Joe

Who had very crusty toes

He had corns and bunions

That smelled like onions

And that’s how the story goes

There was a young man from Lenore,

Whose mouth was as wide as a door.

While attempting to grin,

He slipped and fell in,

And laid inside out on the floor.

To manage to keep up a brain,

It’s no easy job, it is plain;

That’s why a great many

Don’t ever use any,

Thus avoiding the care and the strain.








The kid with no ears

Little Johnny ‘s next door neighbors had a baby.  Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny’s parents were concerned  that their son would have some wise crack to say about the baby with no ears so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.

He said “Now, son… that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or you are going to be in a lot of trouble when we get back home.”

“I promise not to mention his ears at all” said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby’s hand.  He looked at it’s mother and said “Oh What a Beautiful little baby”.

The mother said “Thank you very much, Little Johnny.”

He then said, “This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet.  Why… just look at his pretty little eyes….  Did his doctor say that he can see good?”

The Mother said “Why, yes Johnny… his doctor said he has perfect 20/20 vision.”

Little Johnny said “Well, that’s a darn good thing, because he sure can’t wear any glasses!”