Dad’s gonna ride in the back seat this time

16-year-old Little Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license.  To celebrate, the whole family filed out to the driveway and climbed into the car for Little Johnny’s first drive.  Without stopping, Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

“I’ll bet you’re gonna sit back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” said the beaming boy to his old man.

“Nope,” came dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years.”

 

You cannot marry your half brother

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend to meet her father.  She tells her father that she wants to marry the young man.  After discussing the relationship for a while, the father tells the daughter that she cannot marry the boy because he is her half brother.

Over the course of the next couple of years, this same dilemma occurs five more times.  Each time the girl brought a boy home to meet the father, the father revealed that the boy was her half brother.

After a while, the girl starts to get very angry.  She storms into the kitchen and confronts the mother.  “Mom, what the hell have you been doing all your life?  Dad’s been going around town and having kids with the ladies in the city and now there are five boys that I’ve loved very much and cannot marry them because they are my half brothers!”

Her mom smiles slyly and says, “Don’t worry darling, you can marry any one of them.  He isn’t really your father.”