George Bush Greets Moses

After a campaign tour, George W. Bush was waiting in the airport for his flight to be called.  Off at the edge of the waiting area, Bush saw a tall man with white hair and a flowing white beard.  The guy was dressed in a robe, and he was carrying two large, flat pieces of stone, carved with what looked like Hebrew words.  George W. walked up to the guy, who seemed uncomfortable being so close to George. “Excuse me, sir,” said Bush, “but aren’t you …Moses??”

The stranger turned away, but George was insistent and kept at the guy.  “You *are* Moses … I’d recognize you anywhere!”  And finally, “Why are you so rude?  Can’t you at least say hello?”

To which Moses replied, “The last time I talked to a Bush, I wound up walking around in the desert for 40 years!”

George W. Bush vs. the Taliban

Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process.  When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund’s chair.  They begin talking.

After about five minutes Akhund presses the first button.  A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.  Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs.  A few minutes later the second button is pressed.  This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin.  Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.  But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he’s finally had enough.

“I’m headin’ back home!” he calmly tells the Afghan.  “We’ll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!”

A fortnight passes and Akhund flies to the United States for talks.  As the two men sit down, Akhund notices three buttons on Bush’s chair arm and prepares himself for the Texan’s retaliation.  They begin talking and George presses the first button.  Akhund ducks, but nothing happens.  George snickers but they continue talking.  A few minutes later he presses the second button.  Akhund jumps up, but again nothing happens.  Bush roars with laughter.  They continue the talks but when the third button is pressed, Akhund jumps up again, but again nothing happens.

Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

“Forget this,” says Akhund. “I’m going back to Afghanistan!”

George W. says, through tears of laughter, “What Afghanistan?”