law

80-year-old man charged for driving car described as “pile of snow on road”

80-year-old man charged for driving car described as “pile of snow on road”

We’ve all done it. You’re in a rush so you wipe just enough snow off the windshield to provide a portal for navigation while the defroster clears off the rest. But an 80-year-old Ontario man took it to the extreme and as a result was charged for driving an unsafe car almost completely covered with snow.

The car had only a portion of the driver’s side windshield cleared for vision. Brussels police pointed out the car was quite easy to spot saying it “resembled a pile of snow in the road”.

Police spokesman James Stanley said the man said he was too old and weak to brush it off. The officer cleared the snow from the man’s car and let him on his way.

Excuse for traffic citation

A man going through his mid-life crisis purchased a brand new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.  The top was down, the wind was blowing through what was left of his hair, and feeling spry, he decided to see how fast this new baby could go.  As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

“There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, 100…. then the reality of the situation hit him.

“What the heck am I doing?  I could go to jail over this.” he thought.

He slowed down the car and pulled over.  The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and I don’t much feel like doing any paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your hazardous driving that I haven’t heard before, I will let you go.”

The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.

Yes sir, I’ve been telling him to slow down for miles

A man and his wife were driving down the road when a cop turns on his lights and  pulls them over.  The cop leans into the window and says to the man, “Sir, did you know that you were speeding?”

The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.”

The man’s wife leans over and yells, “Yes you did.  You knew you were speeding.  I’ve been telling you to slow down for miles.”

“SHUT UP!” the man says to his wife, “Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quiet.”

The cop says, “Well, since I’ve got you pulled over, did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?”

“No Sir” the man replies, “I did not know that”

“WHATEVER!”, his wife yells, “I’ve been telling you to go renew that tag for two whole months now!”

“Shut up” the man yells to his wife again!  “Sit back and shut the hell up.  Mind your own damn business!”

Curious, the cop walks over to the woman’s side of the car, leans in, and asks her, “Does your husband always talk to you this way?”

“No” she replies solemnly, ” Only when he’s been drinking!”

 

Taking the law into your own hands is fine unless you’re breaking it

An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, screaming at the top of her voice that she knew how to use it and that she would if required, so they should get out of the car. The four men didn’t wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady loaded her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

Small problem – her key wouldn’t fit the ignition. Her car, identical to the one she was in, was parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station. The officer to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the far end of the counter, where four men were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman. No charges were filed.

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