Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, “My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!”
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, “That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn’t think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?”
The guy catches his breath, then says, “Listen, I don’t want your money! And I don’t want your daughter! I want the jerk who pushed me in the pool!”
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer leans over to the blond and asks her if she would like to play a fun game to pass the time. The blonde just wants to take a nap so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer, persistent, tells the blonde that the game is really easy and a lot of fun to play. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. If you know the answer to the question, I pay you $5.”
Again, the blonde politely declines and tries again to grab a few winks. The lawyer, refusing to give up, says “Okay, if you don’t know the answer to the question then you pay me $5 but if I don’t know the answer to the question, I will pay you $500!” Figuring that since she is a blonde, he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde’s attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What is the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it over to the lawyer.
The blonde’s turn, she asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down the hill with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He hooks into the airplane’s WiFi network and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he send email to all his coworkers and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.