slogan – Funny Grins

Funny United Airlines slogans – UA mottos get brutal

April 12, 2017April 12, 2017 by jokester

After the 4/10/2017 video footage of a passenger being roughed up after refusing to give up his seat to airline employees, United Airlines is suffering a brutal takedown of its own. Their motto, “Fly the Friendly Skies” seems to have lost its meaning. Instead, here are some funny new mottos we believe the beleaguered airline should now consider.

Not enough seating? Prepare for a beating!
United Airlines: Now serving Punch!
Just imagine how we treat your luggage.
Hey, we said the “skies” were friendly…
Early boarding, late boarding, water boarding – all the same to us.
Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.
Please keep feet out of the aisle – we need dragging room.
You carry on, we carry off.
We can re-accommodate you the easy way… or the hard way.
United Airlines: Now offering the Mike Tyson experience.
She’s got a ticket to ride – and we don’t care.
New boarding policy: “Eeny, meeny, miney, mo…”
Would you like a window seat… or a concussion?
No only can our United family not wear leggings, but tickets must be paid for with the blood of an innocent.
If you weren’t afraid of flying before, you will be now!
We put the hospital in hospitality.
We treat you like we treat your luggage.
We’ll beat any price – and any customer.
If we overbook, you’ll catch a right hook.

And for the competing airlines…

Southwest – we beat the competition, not you.
We’re here to keep you safe. Dragging is strictly prohibited.

Funny Slogans on Commercial Vehicles

March 20, 2011 by jokester

Here are signs and slogans that appear on a electrician’s commercial truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On Maternity Room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”

Outside a Hotel: “Help! We need innexperienced people.”

At an Auto Body Shop: “May we have the next dents?”

In a Dry Cleaner’s Emporium: “Drop your pants here.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

On a Music Teacher’s door: “Out Chopin.”

At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

On the side of a Garbage Truck: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.”

On the door of a Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte.”

In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.”

Inside a Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”