The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.
“Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.”
The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
“Not to worry,” said the Cardinal, “We’ll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We’ll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres … We can’t lose!”
Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. “I came in second, your Holiness,” said Nicklaus.
“Second?!” exclaimed the surprised Pope. “You came in second to Shimon Peres?!”
“No,” said Nicklaus, “second to Rabbi Woods.”
There was a golfer from Verdun
Who was not to be outdone.
To avoid glitches
He carried spare britches
In case he got a hole in one.
It’s hard to suppress Iron Mike’s
Obsession to bite what he likes
So if he’s seen nuthin’ grander
Than the ears of Evander
Then Mike bites if he likes? Yikes!
There was a young man, who loved football,
He was waiting for the NFL to call,
While watching games and drinking beer,
He watched his chin and gut grow near,
And now he’s in no shape to play Foosball
There once was a guy named Matt.
He played with a ball and bat.
When asked why,
He would reply:
“I just wanted to wear my hat”
There was a boy played basketball.
When ever he run he also fall.
He run between the guys.
But his dream never realized.
Because his body was too small.
Moses put together a threesome and they hit the links. Moses pulled up to the tee, took out his driver, and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but bounced directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee with a 3 iron and hit a beauty, straight as an arrow, directly toward the same water hazard. It was headed straight for the water but instead of sinking when it hit, it merely skipped across the surface and landed on the green.
The third guy got up with a sand wedge and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the rainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the afore mentioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the talons of the eagle squeezed the frog and it dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said, “I hate playing with your Dad.”