Could you photoshop Christine into the picture please

Here’s a funny real-life exchange between family members and a practical-joking graphic artist while trying to get a missing family member photoshopped into a vacation picture.

 

From: Cheryl

To: Howard, Ben, Christine, Stephanie, Wyatt

Here we are.  Thanks Ben for leaving space for Christine.  Stephanie could you photoshop her in?

-Mom

Could you photoshop Christine into the picture please

 

From: Stephanie

To: Howard, Cheryl, Ben, Christine, Wyatt

Photoshopped picture attached.  A little rough around the edges, but I think  all parties will agree that it’s accurate.

-Stephanie

Could you photoshop Christine into the picture please

 

From: Howard

To: Cheryl, Ben, Christine, Stephanie, Wyatt

Resize Christine and send the image to the back

– Dad

 

From: Stephanie

To: Howard, Cheryl, Ben, Christine, Wyatt

Dad, Christine resized and placed behind other picture, as per your request.

Could you photoshop Christine into the picture please

 

From: Howard

To: Cheryl, Ben, Christine, Stephanie, Wyatt

OK, now she looks like Godzilla.  I should have said "…make Christine smaller, then move the image to the back."  Sorry for the lack of clarity.

– Dad

 

From: Stephanie

To: Howard, Cheryl, Ben, Christine, Wyatt

Like this?

Could you photoshop Christine into the picture please

 

From: Cheryl

To: Howard, Ben, Christine, Stephanie, Wyatt

Oh kayeeeee.  I’m crying.

 

From: Cheryl

To: Howard, Ben, Christine, Stephanie, Wyatt

Whoooooo.  I’m still crying.  I took this email stream into work to give my co-workers a microcosmic view of how our family interacts with each other.

If I worked instead of fishing, what would my reward be?

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth  of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the  stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out  why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his  family.

"You aren’t going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you  should be working rather than lying on the beach!"

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"

"Well, you could get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman’s answer.

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, "You could make money and be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. "You  could buy a bigger boat and hire some people to work for you!" he said.

"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. "Don’t you understand? You could build up a fleet of fishing  boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"

Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don’t you understand that you could become so rich that you will never have to work again! You could spend all  the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in  the world!"

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I’m doing right now?"

The Know it all Barber

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.  He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there?  It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians.  You’re crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking TWA,” was the reply.  “We got a great rate!”

“TWA?” exclaimed the barber.  “That’s a terrible airline.  Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.”

“That dump!  That’s the worst hotel in the city.  The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced.  So, what are you going to do when you get there?”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the barber.  “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.   You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut.  The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of TWA’s brand new planes, but it was over booked and they bumped us up to first class.  The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.  And the hotel-it was great!  They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city.  They, too, were over booked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand!  I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.”

“Really?” asked the Barber. “What’d he say?”

He said, “Where’d you get the ugly haircut?