Beer Turns Men into Women

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their alcohol consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.  The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.  It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

The Difference in Dogs and Women

We love ’em both.  One is Man’s best friend and the other is, well…  Here’s the subtle differences between dogs and women.

  1. Dogs don’t cry.
  2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
  3. A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
  4. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
  5. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  6. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  7. Dogs are excited by rough play.
  8. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
  9. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
  10. Dogs don’t shop.
  11. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
  12. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
  13. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
  14. A dog’s parents never visit.
  15. Dogs love long car trips.
  16. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
  17. Dogs like beer.
  18. Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
  19. Dogs never criticize.
  20. It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
  21. Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had.
  22. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
  23. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
  24. You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go 24 hour a day.
  25. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelery.
  26. Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
  27. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
  28. Dogs can’t talk.
  29. When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it.